What the hay? Apparently Fidler who was on the roof quite a bit, was denied previous permits to built his dream home. So, Robert Fidler did a little lawyering a found himself a little known provision that said if a person built a home or castle and it stood for four years without any objections, it was a legal construction.

The city counsel, however is objecting to the idea that Robert Fidler’s home is his castle or vice versa and is saying he has to take it down. So, far Robert Fidler is not cooperating so a siege may become imminent. Soon, there may be sounds of “Run away, run away!” as an evil bunny flies through the air near the castle drawbridge.

While some people are building castles in the air, Robert Fidler may be defending his with slings and arrows. Then again, perhaps Fidler and the city counsel can come to some compromise. Once this is done, they call all go out for White Castles.

So, in protest, the local t-shirt artist decided to put the commissioners’ quotes on t-shirts and sell them locally. As one could expect, these funny t-shirts haven’t been a big hit with the commissioners as nary a one was heard to guffaw, chortle, giggle or chuckle over the incident.

One commissioner is even checking out the legality of the whole issue. I think I’ll need to send the artist a “Good Job!” t-shirt for her efforts.

The local authorities have been dismayed with the popularity of the funny t-shirts, which are selling especially well to tourists. A couple of Italian senators are so offended by the t-shirts that they are making formal requests to the government to have the retailers stop selling the funny shirts.

Perhaps these senators are so offended because they can see themselves one day sitting around the Costa Nostra dinner table on casual Friday, enveloped by a group of Mafioso’s wearing the infamous shirts and will, themselves feel obliged to join them?

Then again they just may want to check out the “Jimmy Hoffa Is Buried In My Ass” t-shirt that is being hocked on this site and wear that to the dinner table instead.

One would think that our Homeland Security officials may have something better to do, like scout out the actual terrorists. Then again, I suppose if you’re a Yankees fan, then a Boston fan coming into your territory may just constitute an actual terrorist threat.

Anyway, I thought I would check out the recent controversies in the news to see what societal ruin t-shirts have been causing today.

In England, a funny sports t-shirt that states, “Always Kick Ahead, Any Head” is upsetting some soccer fans in Maidstone, Kent. Perhaps it should read, “Always Get a Life, Any Life” instead.

Then there’s the controversy in Leesburg, Florida where the city commissioners are offended at a t-shirt that reads, “Sleesburg BikeFest,” which was being sold at one of the city’s biggest events. Hmnn, perhaps the “Get A Life” t-shirt applies here, too.

And, remember the scene from Forrest Gump, where Tom Hanks wipes his muddy face with a t-shirt and a smiley face appears? Well, Wal-Mart and a French company are refusing to turn their frowns upside down and are suing over the rights to Mr. Yellow Smiley Face.

So much ado about T-shirts. It seems like too many people have had their funny bones removed and replaced with righteous indignation or corporate greed. Once again, “Get A Life.”

To some others, t-shirts offer security. There’s a great story in the Oregon News Review, about how a U. S. soldier at Abu Ghraib in Iraq found solace in a t-shirt that he had received. This t-shirt was a reminder of home and how he, too would like to be in the middle of Watts at 2 am, wearing an anti-gang t-shirt.

But, nonetheless, (and no nasty emails please) t-shirts do have impact on those around us. For some, they are statements and for others, a simple means to dress up an un-toned, under-used and unusually saggy upper torso.

Is he now able to afford hardcover books instead of soft cover? Or just hard porn over soft?

Some are reporting that he’s going to take a Gandhi-esk approach to his new retirement fortune and work at some of his former filling stations, pumping gas for the patrons. And, when he’s through with that he will bend them over their trunks and pump them some more.

Exxon reported record profits last quarter and the price of a gallon of gasoline and a barrel of oil has never been this expensive before. Mr. Raymond is doing his part to make sure gasoline prices stay high, shareholder profits decline and he has enough money to take that dream vacation to Jackson, Wyoming to see the world’s largest ball of barbed wire, nicknamed “Clonia”.

What would The Donald say about this? And by The Donald, I mean, Duck.

According to the FDA (Fatal Disease Association) the cow was being targeted by post-Katrina evacuees for late night cow-tipping sessions. Oh, at first, it was just a prank. Then, night after night, of being tipped over with no recourse against her aggressors, the cow slowly went, mad, mad I tell you, utterly and completely MAD!

So, there you have it. Bovine Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) brought on by some silly adolescent shenanigans that just went too far. Our next story will feature PTSD in snails and does it really matter?

In other news, I’ve almost completed the funny t-shirt section of the April Fools website. I’ll be selling gag gifts there as well in the coming weeks. Look for some new, exciting and freshly funny t-shirt designs there!