Funny T-shirts Blog » Opinion

Top 10 Worst Bridges in the U. S.

Kevin — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 23:18:00 +0000

In light of the recent tragedy it got me to worrying about safety and wondering what the worst bridges are in the U. S. So, I did a little research and came up with this list:

Top 10 Worst Bridges in the U. S.

1. Legoland Bridge
2. Youtube Spam Bridge
3. London Bridge that’s falling down and rebuilt in Arizona
4. Bridge of My Nose
5. Bridge in My Mouth
6. Contract Bridge
7. Bridgette Nielsen
8. Bridgette Bardot
9. Bridge Over Troubled Waters
10. Bridges of Madison County

Oh Lord Stuck In Lodi Again – Man Sues Self

Kevin — Sun, 26 Mar 2006 15:38:00 +0000

Yes, its true that a man in Lodi, California is suing the city for driving a dump truck into his car. The only problem is that this man is also the driver of the dump truck. The man, Curtis Gokey, filed a claim for $3,600, but Lodi officials denied the claim, since in essence, Mr. Gokey was suing himself. Rumor has it that Credence Clearwater Revival’s “Oh, Lord, Stuck in Lodi Again” was playing on his radio when the accident occurred.

Since that claim was denied, the Gokey’s decided to file a claim under the wife’s name, Rhonda. Rhonda is suing for $4,800 since apparently she’s not as nice as her husband.

So, what’s next? Will this man now ram the dump truck into his own house so that he may sue for some badly needed home repairs? Perhaps he has a few friends who would like new cars or home repairs as well. And why isn’t this man’s paycheck being docked for his reckless driving endeavors?

Anyway, I would like to see the face of the judge who tries this suit when he finds out what this case is about. Perhaps even an appearance on Judge Judy would be in order.

The Beach in February

Kevin — Sat, 25 Feb 2006 20:55:00 +0000

I was down at the beach last week and saw pods of dolphins on two different days. The first day there were about 30 of them in a cove and a few even came about 20 feet from shore, riding some of the waves as they were breaking. The sun was setting and red-orange shards of light ran through the cove and over the dolphins as they played.

The second pod I observed on a different day. There were only about 10 of them and they were young, teenager type dolphins. They had paired up and were one of the most spread out pods I’ve ever seen. They lingered and only very slowly made their way down the beach, about 40 yards offshore.

After I observed the second pod, I thought of a pun to accurately describe what I was feeling. I too would like a porpoise-driven life.

May You Have A Grand Afterlife

Kevin — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 15:38:00 +0000

After a particularly dream-filled night of sleep, I had a thought:

Heaven is the accumulation of all of the dreams you’ve had in your lifetime. Hell is the accumulation of all of your nightmares. In the afterlife, may you live your dreams instead of your nightmares.

Not particularly funny is it?

What is funny though, is the new line of Valentine’s Day t-shirts that I’ve just posted, especially the “Eye Rub Ewe” visual pun and the more risqué “Romance In My Pants” funny t-shirt creation.

Check them out! I promise they won’t give you nightmares.

Kobe Bryant Scores 81 Points, Second to Wilt

Kevin — Mon, 23 Jan 2006 18:44:00 +0000

So, Kobe Bryant scored 81 points in last night’s game against the Toronto Raptors. This is second only in history to Wilt Chamberlain’s 100 point game.

Two words: double team.

Is there anything more that needs to be said? I mean, if a guy is dropping two’s and three’s like a gambler at a slot machine, you put two men on him and hound dog him around the court. There is no excuse for a basketball team having one player score 81 points on them.

Kobe is not as tall as Wilt or Kareem or as heavy as Shaq and in the past when he’s been double-teamed he has not put the points on the board.

To the coach of the Raptors: double team. Try this out and save yourself some embarrassment next time. ‘Nough said.

New Yuk, New Yuk

Kevin — Thu, 05 Jan 2006 02:25:00 +0000

Like David Letterman says, “The name so nice they say it twice.” Just got back from New Yuk, New Yuk from a fantastic New Year’s celebration. Being originally from the Midwest and now from California I was expecting to run into that famous New Yukker rudeness, which I never did.

In fact, all I received was helpfulness and kindness the whole trip. Spent some time in Brooklyn, which was much cleaner and friendly than I expected, though I’m told there are much rougher parts than where we stayed. Took the F-train, (or Effin’ Train as I heard it referred to) uptown to check out Times Square and other touristy sites.

Funny T-shirt ideas were everywhere and I kept notes. You may not see East Coast specific tees on the sites, but the ideas and attitude are definitely from the Eastern Border. Anyway, Happy New Years to everyone and let’s have a healthful and prosperous 2006.

Funny T-shirts Humor Blog Humble Beginnings

Kevin — Tue, 20 Dec 2005 03:18:00 +0000

If you’re a standup comic wannabe or some other type of chameleon, then this is the place to be. I, myself, am quite a maroon as Bugs Bunny says (as opposed to a macaroon or the Macarena), so self-deprecation is not only a technique but a way of life around here. If you haven’t guessed it already, I am heavy on the puns both in this weblog and on the regular websites as well. Verbal puns, visual puns and other wordplay is what I’m all about. So, this is the first post in this blog and I hope there are many more to come! Excelsior!