I think a lot about farts (what guy doesn’t?). And, I particularly think about farts when I am at the gym working out. For some unknown reason I am particularly gassy when I’m at the gym. I try to position myself on the equipment so that I’m out of smelling range from other people. I don’t always succeed.
Anyway, while I was on the treadmill recently ripping some silent, yet oh so deadly ones it struck me that I don’t know much about farts. I’ve been farting all my life, but I’ve never researched the subject to find out the facts about farts.
So, I did a little research and I want to relay to you 12 fart facts that I didn’t know before and perhaps you didn’t know either.
12 Fart Facts
1. You probably already know that farts are composed of methane and maybe even hydrogen (plus nitrogen). Methane itself is also rich in hydrogen, the same element that may one day power fuel cell cars. So, by extension, we may one day be powering our cars with our own farts (Okay, that’s a stretch, perhaps we’ll use our farts as a fuel additive).
2. Farts are also flammable because of the methane and hydrogen gas. So, yes it is possible to light our own farts and a bit dangerous as you can actually burn your colon by doing so.
3. Farts stink primarily because of the hydrogen sulfide gas mixed in with the methane. Meat, eggs and cauliflower are rich in sulfur and thus are guilty of much of the odiferous nature of flatulence.
4. Beans, beans are good for your heart, but they also have many sugars that the human intestines cannot digest. The bacteria in our intestines react to these sugars and basically blow their tops.
5. The top speed of a fart is approximately 10 feet per second.
6. The average time it takes for a fart to travel to someone else’s nose depends upon conditions such as distance, atmospheric humidity, wind and pungency of odor. Two to three seconds is average.
7. The average volume of farts per person is about 1/2 of a quart. So, in just two days you can fill up an empty milk quart container with your farts.
8. Men and women are relatively even when it comes to farting. Men may fart at a slightly higher volume since men, in general, tend to be larger than women.
9. Fart comes from the Old English word “feortan” meaning “to break wind.”
10. Some people will fart more than others. Those who chew with their mouths open, are high strung or go up in airplanes will fart more than the norm.
11. Some people can hold in farts for hours, but not forever. This is especially true for people who constantly work around other people. But, the farts have to come out sometime. So, when this person falls asleep the bedroom most likely start to sound like a full orchestra.
12. The animal that has the highest output of farts on this planet is not the human nor the cow. It is the lowly termite that gets top honors as its digestive process and diet make it the perfect candidate. Some have even scapegoated the termite into being responsible for global warming, but this is a stretch.
There you have it, a dozen fart facts for your effervescent perusal. Do with this what you will. Send it to your friends. Impress people at parties with this information. Or just sit on it and digest it a bit.
Filed under: Humor