It’s Shark the Oligarch Week

Guest Post by Manny Mannequin

Wow, it is amazing what a difference there is between seasons.  Last year the world’s waters were literally filled up with “Garchs”.  You may ask yourself what the hell is a Garch? Well in the world of fantasy where I live, I can make up words as I please, so it is what I now call any of the superyachts owned by a Russian Oligarchs

They used to be spotted all over, from the sandy, sexy, techno beaches of Ibiza to the white sandy beaches, clear blue water and sounds of reggae in the Caribbean. Yes, they are the self-bought toys of the billionaires costing hundreds of millions of dollars to perpetuate egos by having the contest as to who has the biggest and best yacht.  Yes, boys, men always want to brag that theirs is bigger than yours.

It’s Shark the Oligarch Week

The Garchs are now in hiding.  Not all Yachts are Garchs because as mentioned above the Garch is a name reserved only for the Yachts owned by Russian Oligarchs. You can still see the American and European Super Yachts in open ports and on the water.  You know the species of Yachts called Bezos, Gates, Woods, Shaq, etc. Those are still floating around the waters of the world.  But the Russian Garchs have pretty much become nonexistent this year and are extremely hard to find.

Yes, folks, this year’s Oligarch Week focuses on the search for the Garch (and not Garch Vader)!  Where are they now? Kind of like those TV shows they make for the washed-up child stars. Where are they now?   Selling drugs and passed out in gutters and who would have thought that of Americas Sweetheart whoever she was because we have forgotten her name.

Yes, that is what I believe will happen to a good portion of the Garchs. They are insignificant as should be anything elite Russian in my honest opinion.  They are in hiding, lurking in hidden ports and ready to be unleashed into the waters again.  However most if not all will be captured just like the Sharks in the original Shark week. 

But will they attack? I say no, they will continue to hide until they are found and then seized.  Sold off in fire sales at discounted prices of $100 Million instead of the $500 Million they cost to build.  Yep, we can all afford one of those now. You know, now that I think of it. probably most of the Sharks from Shark Tank (another TV show where the stars own yachts as well) At least we will still be able to see theirs somewhere in the playground of the rich and famous.

So as the saga of the Garch continues, it will be interesting to see where and when they reappear.  Rumors are they will be in hiding in small, secluded countries where the law does not care who you are or what you do with your assets. One day the Garchs will reappear in open water, but for now they hide from the angry mob who wants to throw them off their superyachts and feed them to the fishes.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *