Who doesn’t love the holidays? Who doesn’t love reading about zombies ruining all the fun? Even zombie fans must get tired of all those “zombie apocalypse” stories. So what better way to enjoy both than a story where a zombie Santa infects houses with his virus, and then delivers presents to the survivors who have managed to avoid infection. This quick read is sure to get you into the holiday spirit by combining two great things no one wants together: Zombies and Christmas.
Our story follows a group of friends who find themselves trapped in their homes while a zombie outbreak is happening. They try their best to survive while their families and friends get infected. One of the group’s friends gets bitten and turns into a zombie, and the rest of the group must kill their own friend to survive.
“Don’t do it, Dave!” says Allen.
“I must!” cries Dave.
Dave stabs their friend Dorcas in the head with a knife killing the zombie.
Then the group hears noise outside their house, and finds zombie Santa, who is still delivering presents to survivors.
“Aagh!” says Santa.
The group tries to survive, but it’s not an easy task. Zombie neighbors come out of the woodwork to try and bite them. There is also an evil clown in the sewer making faces at the mayhem. There is also Allstate’s Mayhem making faces as he wrecks his car into an evil clown zombie. It’s like a 3-ring circus out there!
The group does survive, but they have to clean up all the gore from the zombie outbreak and Christmas Eve.
Why Is Christmas Zombie Santa So Angry?
Well, he’s a zombie, so he’s always angry. But Santa has a lot of reasons to be pissed. Think about it; Santa is the king of Christmas. He gets to sit on his throne and drink knocked up eggnog while watching kids all over the world play with toys he brought them. But what happens when there’s a zombie apocalypse?
Santa can’t go anywhere, so he’s stuck in the North Pole, watching all the kids get eaten by zombies, while he can’t do anything about it. That would be super frustrating for any normal person, let alone a zombie. So, it’s not surprising that Santa would get angry enough to start infecting people houses with his virus in order to get his revenge.
“Eff, this world!” Santa can be heard saying in the vocal tones that only a deaf person can utter.
A Very Scary Christmas Party
In our story, a group of friends are having a party on Christmas Eve. Most of the group is single, so it’s the perfect time to go out and try to find a date for the holiday. Things get really bad when a zombie outbreak begins, and the group finds themselves trapped in their friend’s house. One of their friends, Dorcas, gets bitten and turns into a zombie, and the rest of the group, well Dave at least, must kill their own friend to survive. Then the group hears noise outside their house and finds out that Santa is still delivering presents to survivors. And, of course, Santa is on a biting spree as well, randomly delivering gifts to some while biting some others.
Zombie Elves Are Evil
Santa is the king of Christmas, and no one messes with the king, except for Elvis and he’s dead. And, except for zombie Santa, who hates the fact that Christmas is ruined, and all the elves are walking dead. Santa fires the rest of his normal elves and replaces them with zombies so they can’t give him lip about production quotas.
As for the the reindeer, Santa just uses drones to deliver toys to kids instead. But, complication ensues as zombie elves are all about causing trouble as they are very evil creatures. They only care about spreading the zombie virus and ruining Christmas. They don’t care about kids and gift-giving, they just want to spread the virus so that more houses become infected. That’s why Dave, Allen and the others need to shoot all the zombie elves on sight.
This group of friends try to survive by locking themselves up in the house. They try their best to keep the zombies out, but Santa manages to break into the house and infects Dorcas (what parent would name their child this?) Dorcas is killed by Dave. On his way to the next house, Santa is hit by a van while crossing the street. The evil clown drags Santa into the sewer and is never seen again.
The zombie apocalypse has not only ruined Christmas but is running amok over the world. Scientists everywhere are trying to clone zombie clowns and put them in sewers all over the world. When the zombies are killed by the evil clowns, the scientists will need to clone more alligators for the sewers to clean up the clown problem. When this is resolved then the alligators in the sewers will need to be dealt with and the problem goes on and on. So, you see there is no clear solution, only a cycle that repeats itself. But, until this day comes, live each day to the fullest and enjoy this Christmas season!