The Day the Thanksgiving Turkeys Fought Back

In early November, Tom decided to do some research on his family tree. He was taken aback when he discovered that all of his turkey relatives had been killed prior to Thanksgiving.

Eat me, pilgrim!

The Turkey the pilgrims ate was the last one. The rest were slaughtered, decapitated, and boiled alive before they could spread their wings. Their remains were dumped into the ocean, and the word was spread that the colonists had celebrated their first successful Thanksgiving with turkey.

“This will not do!” thought Tom.

So Tom decided to tell the rest of the turkeys in the pen about this abomination that was about to befall them, the murder that was to take place just to satisfy humans on Thanksgiving Day.

The turkeys were stunned. “This is madness!” they cried! “Who will gobble for us?”

Tom consoled them, saying, “Let us not worry. Our day will come. Let us continue with our research.”

Tom researched and researched and looked at the turkeys’ historical past. He felt tears in his eyes as he realized that turkeys used to be free to fly free and do as they pleased, living their lives to the fullest, trusting in their instincts.

What had happened between then and now? What had changed? What had gone wrong?

Still, Tom hoped. And he hoped. And he hoped.

Then one day, Tom was standing in the barn with some of his friends. They all leaned on the wooden fence, sighing. A crowd was gathering around them.

“Guess what we have found out,” Tom said.

The crowd was silent.

Happy Misgiving

Tom continued, “Our ancestors were plucked, taken from the wild, and thrown into the barn to be fattened. In the wild, they were given one thing to do: to keep on living. And they kept on living. They lived to be strong, to be beautiful, to be free. And then, they were taken and thrown into the barn. Our ancestors were given one more thing to do that had nothing to do with survival. In fact, doing it went against their instincts. They were given one more thing to do that caused confusion, pain, and suffering. Tom, our ancestors were given one more thing to do: to be slaughtered.”

The crowd was stunned.

“This is what happened,” said Tom sadly. “This is why turkeys are bred to be so fat; this is why turkeys look so silly. This is why turkeys can’t fly or do anything with their natural instincts anymore. Because turkeys are bred to be slaughtered.”. “Thanksgiving is the day when we will be killed.”

“Do you mean the day when we are-“

“Yes. We will be slaughtered,” Tom said.

Gasps filled the barnyard.

“Tom, this is awful! You said there is a way, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I did. I have found a way. And I will show you all how to do it as well,” Tom said.

“How, Tom?”

“Listen,” Tom said, and he explained to the rest of the turkeys that they had all been born in captivity. They had been raised in a barn and had never seen the world in their lives.

“We must escape!” Tom said.

“Where can we go, Tom?” a bird asked.

Tom said, “We will escape to an island, where there are no people.”

But as Tom looked at the crowd, he could see that there was no hope for the turkeys, who were too scared to risk their lives.

“No!” Tom said. “We must escape this very night! We must go NOW!”

“But, Tom, it is nighttime,” someone said.

Tom retorted, “Then, we must wait until it is daylight!”

The crowd was silent.

“Tomorrow is Thanksgiving,” Tom said.

“So it is,” said a turkey.

“So, if we are going to escape, we will have to do it tomorrow!” Tom said.


“All right!”


“We must gather all the turkeys who want to escape to the edge of the forest and wait there while I check out the situation,” Tom said. “Tomorrow, I will come and bring my map. And we will escape then.”

The next morning, Tom was not there.

“Where is Tom?” they asked.

“I don’t know,” said another.

“He must be somewhere,” a turkey said.

Then one of them fell to her knees, stating, “He’s not coming back…”

“He has abandoned us!”

“He is not coming back!”

Meanwhile, with Tom

Tom was running around the forest. “What if the humans are here?” he thought to himself. “What if they are here?”

Just as Tom was about to give up hope and return to the pen, he heard a rustling in the bushes. He heard footsteps.

“Tom, is that you?” a voice asked.

“It is I, Tom,” Tom said.

“Are you OK, Tom?” said Tim.

“I am fine, but I am worried,” Tom said. “I think the humans have found out about the escape. I know I should have been back at the pen by now, but I’m afraid to go back.”

“But, Tom, you can’t!” Tim said.

“But, Tim, I must!” Tom said.

“But Tom-“

“Look,” Tom said, “let us not worry about me. Let us worry about what we should do. Let us worry about escaping.”

“We must go ahead with the escape plan. Come on,” Tom said. “Come on, the others are waiting for us.”

“The others?” Tim said.

“Yes, the others are waiting for us,” Tom said. “Come on.”

The next morning, Tom was not there. This is because he found a portal to a new dimension. And he took Tim with him.

In about a year’s time, Tom had built a civilization for the turkeys. He built a beautiful town, which he called Christmas Town.

“This is our home, Tim,” Tom said.

“It’s beautiful,” Tim said.

But Tom said, “This is not the end of our goal. Our goal is for humans to not be allowed to kill us. Our goal is freedom for all the turkeys. Our goal is true happiness.”

“Yes,” Tim said, “and there is much to do.”

Gobbler Cobbler

One Year, Later

The city of Christmas Town was bustling. People were hurrying this way and that, each carrying a turkey.

“It is Thanksgiving tomorrow, after all,” they said. “Everyone is taking their turkeys to the slaughter yard to serve their families a delicious turkey!”

“We shall help them!” Tom said. “The turkeys can escape to a better life.”

“But, Tom, is it safe?” a turkey said.

But Tom said, “It is safe, Elvira! Come! Come with me to the portal, and you will not be eaten tomorrow.”

“OK, Tommy!”

“I’m coming, Tommy!”

At the slaughter yard, the turkeys were waiting. “When they come through the portal, we must run,” Tom whispered to the turkeys. “If we run, the humans will not catch us! We must run!”

The turkeys nodded.

“Run!” Tom screamed. “Run!”

The turkeys ran and ran, and the humans were not there, for they were stuck in Christmas Town.

When they had found a safe place to await the new day, Tom asked, “What is your name?”

“My name is Daisy,” a turkey replied.

“What is your name?”

“My name is Rose,” another said.

“What is your name?”

One by one they introduced themselves.

“And what is your name?”

“My name is Mary,” someone said.

“And what is your name?”

“My name is Sandra,” another said.

And then, there was one more turkey. And she said: “My name is Tiny Tim.”

And because of his quick thinking and adventurous spirit in finding the portal to the new dimension Tom the Turkey went on to become the President of all the turkeys, and he served his sentence to the end.

And, if you were expecting a better happy ending, know this. Tom, in the alternative dimension, frequented a massage parlor where he always received a happy ending.

Hey, you, pull my drumstick!

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